Short answer: getting in the DMs without being salesy means only messaging people who have already raised their hand: they commented on a post, voted on a poll, opted in, joined your event or messaged you a keyword. Open with something helpful, ask "where are you now compared to where you want to be?", listen, then tailor your offer to what they told you. Map a simple DM process for every way you generate leads, and follow up, because most sales don't happen on the first message.

"I hate sliding into people's DMs. It feels so salesy." I hear this all the time, and I get it. Nobody wants to be the person sending a cold pitch to a stranger who never asked.

But that's not what I'm talking about. When I had to grow my business as a new mum with a toddler, I didn't have time for lots of sales calls. So I opened up my DMs instead: if you have a question, message me. What I found was that when I offered conversations in the DMs, rather than just sending people to a sales page, my conversion rate went up. Below is the exact process, with scripts for every stage and a 7 day plan.

This is part of my ultimate guide to turning content into clients, where DMs are the step that turns engagement into sales.

Why do DMs convert so well?

Because visibility leads to leads, leads lead to conversations, and conversations lead to sales. You can absolutely sell without conversations. But when we've looked at our conversion rates, the more we nurture and talk to people, the more sales we make. A conversation lets you find out exactly what someone is struggling with, so when you mention your offer it lands as the solution to their problem, not a generic pitch.

The golden rule: only message people who raised their hand

This is what stops it feeling salesy. You're replying to people who showed interest in something you offer, someone who:

• Commented on a "comment below" post or reel.
• Voted on a story poll.
• Messaged you a keyword after a guest spot or training.
• Signed up for your challenge, masterclass or free resource.
• Asked for a free audit.

The DM process, step by step

Step 1: List every way you generate leads

Audits, story polls, comment below posts, free resources, challenges, masterclasses, guest spots. Write them all down. Each one gets its own DM process.

Time: 10 minutes. Done when: you have a list of every lead source you use.

Staring at a blank message box for each one? The Copywriter inside Ascendia OS writes DMs that sound like you, so you can have an opening message and follow ups drafted for every lead source and simply tweak them.

Step 2: Open with their name, what they did and a question

My favourite question is "where are you now compared to where you want to be?" It does two jobs. It qualifies them (is your offer right for them?), and they'll usually tell you exactly what they're struggling with. If they don't, ask: "What do you feel is holding you back from getting there?"

Time: 2 minutes per person. Done when: everyone who raised their hand in the last 48 hours has had a personal message.

Step 3: Listen and qualify

Let them talk. Reflect back what they said. If they're not a fit, say so kindly and give them something useful, like a free training. You've still added value, and they might buy something else later.

Step 4: Tailor the offer using their words

If they told you they're posting every day and getting no enquiries, talk about how your offer fixes exactly that. When the pitch speaks directly to the result they want and the struggle they just described, it doesn't feel like a pitch. It feels like help.

People will answer in one of three ways:

• Yes: brilliant, send the link.
• Yes, but: they're telling you their objection, so you can help with it.
• No: that's fine. I always ask "Can I ask why?", because it's great feedback, and sometimes that no turns into a yes.

Step 5: Follow up (more than you think)

The fortune is in the follow up. A lot of sales happen after several follow ups, not the first message, so if you're not following up you're leaving money on the table. Keep it light and human.

If your inbox gets busier than your diary, Ascendia OS Pro includes an Appointment Setter that replies to DMs, texts and website chats 24/7 and books calls, so nobody who raised their hand is left waiting for a reply.

Time: 20 minutes a day. Done when: everyone who hasn't said yes or no has a follow up scheduled.

Three DM processes I use

1. Free audits

1. Post or email an offer of a free audit. To get one, people comment below or DM you a word, so you can track every lead.
2. Message them by name and qualify them with the "where are you now" question.
3. If they're a fit, send a short form about their business. It doubles as brilliant market research.
4. Record a short audit, around five minutes, with a couple of action steps. If they implement and get a result, that's instant trust.
5. Pitch your offer, tailored to what they said in the form, with a bonus if they join within 24 hours.
6. Follow up.

2. Lead generation stories

Some of ours are very direct: "Who wants to work with me for 12 months?" with a "yes, send me the details" option. Because people know you're selling, the conversation is easy. Message everyone who votes, ask where they're at, tailor the offer, follow up.

3. Virtual events (challenges and masterclasses)

• Before: collect Instagram handles at sign-up, or invite people into a group, and send a quick, warm reminder: "So excited you've joined! Day one is at 7pm, will you be joining us live?" This isn't selling. It's getting people to show up.
• During: ask a few people how they're finding it and whether they have any questions.
• After the pitch: offer a stay-until-the-end gift that they get by DMing you a word. Send the gift, then ask, "Will you be joining us inside the programme?"

Worked example: a story poll to sales in the DMs

Example: a business coach selling a $997 programme posts a story poll: "I've got 5 spaces in my programme for coaches who want consistent clients. Want the details?" 30 people vote "yes".

• She messages all 30 with the opening DM. 20 reply.
• 15 tell her their struggle. 5 aren't a fit, so they get a free training.
• She sends 10 tailored offer DMs and follows up over 6 days.
• If 3 say yes, that's $2,991 from one story poll and an hour of conversations a day for a week.

Those numbers are an example, not a promise. The point is that every sale came from someone who asked first.

Common mistakes (and the fix)

• Messaging people who never showed interest. Fix: only message hand raisers.
• Copy and paste pitches that ignore what they told you. Fix: use their words in your offer.
• Pitching in the first message. Fix: open with a question.
• Giving up after one message. Fix: follow up on day 2, 4 and 6.
• Arguing with a no. Fix: ask "can I ask why?" and listen.

Your action plan

Day 1

• List every lead source and write the opening DM for each.

Day 2

• Post one lead generation story poll or comment below post.

Day 3

• Message everyone who raised their hand with the opening script.

Day 4

• Send tailored offer DMs to everyone who shared a struggle.

Days 5 to 7

• Follow up using the day 2, 4 and 6 scripts and track yes, yes but and no.

DMs are one part of turning content into clients. For the full picture, read how to turn content into clients and my ultimate guide to turning content into clients, and if you're running a challenge, see how to follow up after a masterclass. My course Content To Clients® includes the full DM scripts and the lead generation content that fills your inbox.

Frequently asked questions

Is it OK to DM people to sell?

Yes, when they've shown interest first by commenting, voting, opting in or joining your event. Cold pitching strangers is what feels salesy.

What should my first DM say?

Use their name, mention what they did, and ask where they are now compared to where they want to be. Keep it short and genuine.

Do I need sales calls if I sell in the DMs?

No. I built my business largely without sales calls by having conversations in the DMs, which suited my limited time as a new mum.

How do I handle "I can't afford it" in the DMs?

Ask a gentle question to understand it, then see if a payment plan, a lower priced offer or a later start helps. Some people genuinely aren't ready, and that's fine.

Laurie Burrows is a UK-based marketing and sales strategist who has built a business that's generated multi-seven figures in sales through social media and digital marketing. Today, Laurie helps business owners use social media, content and digital marketing to get seen, attract more clients and make more sales. She's also the founder of Ascendia OS.